Ever been out at a bar, drink in hand, wishing you had a solid wingman to hype you up—or at least share a laugh? You’re not alone. In a recent Wingit survey, half of men said they don’t go out much simply because they don’t have a good wingman, and 75% admitted they often go solo but would rather have someone solid to roll with.
If you’ve ever bailed on a night out because your friend flaked or felt awkward flying solo, you’re not the only one. But why is it so damn hard to find a good wingman these days? And more importantly, what can you do about it? Let’s break it down.
Why It’s So Hard to Find a Wingman Today
If you feel like finding a solid wingman has gotten tougher, you’re not wrong. Social circles have shrunk, social anxiety is at an all-time high, and nightlife itself has changed. Here’s why:
1. Men Have Fewer Close Friends Than Ever
Simply put, guys have fewer close friendships than they used to. Studies show that the number of men with at least six close friends has dropped by half since 1990, and 1 in 5 single men say they have zero close friends today. That means fewer guys to call when you need a wing.
Compare that to your college days when you had a built-in social circle always down for a night out. Now? Between work, relationships, and adult responsibilities, your friends might not be available—or they might not even be into going out anymore.
2. Social Anxiety & Fear of “Creepiness” is Holding Men Back
Even when guys do go out alone, many hesitate to approach women. Fear of being labeled “creepy” is a massive mental block, with 69% of men saying it affects how they interact with women, and 44% admitting it stops them from approaching altogether.
Having a wingman makes all the difference, but when most guys are paralyzed by approach anxiety, finding someone who’s down to be social is easier said than done.
3. Modern Dating Means Fewer Real-Life Interactions
Dating has moved online. Over 50% of couples now meet through dating apps, while only about 20% meet in bars or restaurants. This means that fewer people are used to meeting organically in public spaces.
If you’re trying to meet women in person, it can feel like you’re swimming against the tide. You need a solid wingman to help, but a lot of guys just don’t have that natural social muscle anymore.
4. Friends Who Flake or Don’t Share Your Goals
Maybe you do have friends, but they’re just not reliable wingmen. One has a girlfriend and never wants to go out. Another comes but spends all night texting his ex. Another flakes last-minute or gets too drunk and becomes a liability.
A great wingman wants to go out, is social, and has the same mindset as you. The problem? Most guys don’t have that friend in their circle.
Going Solo: The Secret Weapon Most Guys Ignore
If finding a wingman is so hard, should you just go out alone? The answer: Yes—but you have to do it right.
A lot of guys hate the idea of going out solo because they think it’ll be awkward. But here’s the reality:
Why Solo Nights Can Be a Game-Changer
- You’re more approachable. A guy standing alone looks way more open to conversation than a big group of guys huddled together.
- No distractions. No waiting for your friend to finish his beer, no group decision-making on where to go next—you do whatever you want.
- It builds confidence fast. When you start going out solo, you get used to starting conversations on your own, making you more socially independent.
How to Go Out Solo Without It Feeling Weird
- Pick the right venue. Choose bars with built-in social energy, like lounges, cocktail bars, or hostel bars if you’re traveling.
- Have a mission. Don’t just stand around—try a new drink, talk to the bartender, or watch a game on TV. Give yourself a reason to be there.
- Engage with everyone. Talk to the bartender, other guys, groups nearby—it’s not just about women. The more you warm up, the easier it gets.
- Own it. If someone asks, “Who are you here with?” just say, “My buddies flaked, but I wasn’t gonna miss out.” It’s confident, direct, and honest.
Going solo isn’t a last resort—it’s a skill that makes you stronger socially. And when you do find a great wingman, you’ll bring more to the table because you’re already comfortable handling things on your own.
Finding a Like-Minded Wingman
Even though solo nights can be powerful, having a wingman still makes things easier and more fun. Here’s how to find the right one:
1. Tap Into Existing Social Groups
Join local meetups, expat groups, or nightlife social circles. Plenty of guys want a wingman but don’t know where to find one. Sometimes, you just have to put yourself out there.
2. Be Proactive in Friend Circles
That coworker who just moved to town? That gym buddy who mentioned he’s single? Hit them up. Plenty of guys would be down to go out, but they’re just waiting for an invite.
3. Use Technology to Find One
This is exactly why we built Wingit—to connect guys who want to go out and meet people without having to rely on flaky friends. Whether you’re new in town, traveling solo, or just tired of going out alone, Wingit helps you find solid wingmen nearby so you always have someone to roll with.
Final Thoughts: Build Your Social Circle—Or Stay Stuck
If you’re frustrated with going out solo, struggling to find a wingman, or feeling like your usual friends are holding you back, you have two choices:
- Accept it and stay in the same cycle.
- Take action and build the social life you actually want.
Whether that means learning to own solo nights, expanding your social circle, or using tools like Wingit to meet guys on your level, the choice is yours.
Your best nights out are ahead of you—don’t wait for someone else to make them happen.
👉 Join the waitlist for Wingit now and start meeting like-minded wingmen today.
